It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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