You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
