At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
