His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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