she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
