I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
