You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
