Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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