we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
