spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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