Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
