Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Success! We fucked roommates!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
