we're blogging at a bar
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
