brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
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