Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
