I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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