So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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