Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
