lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
