There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
