I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
