The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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