It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
