Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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