epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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