I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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