she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i think i just lost a toe
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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