just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
