Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Terrible idea I love it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize