JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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