NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
