Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
