hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
