You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
being pregnant is like rehab
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
