yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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