I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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