She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
