You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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