official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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