His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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