Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
