Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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