i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
