I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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