Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
