Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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