i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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