hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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