Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
