Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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