Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
