I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize