it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
