I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
