i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
