i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
