Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
