it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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