ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
