I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
