Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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