You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
