wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
